The gym is more than a place to build muscle; it's where you build the capacity to carry life's weight.
Reflection:
Every June we have conversations about men's mental health and I'm grateful for that. We remind men that it's okay to ask for help, we encourage therapy and we tell each other that opening up isn't weakness. All of that matters on so ,amu levels but I've found myself thinking about another piece of the conversation that doesn't get talked about nearly enough.
Resistance.
Not emotional resistance but physical resistance.
I've been in seasons where getting out of bed felt like the hardest thing I was going to do all day. Anxiety made even small problems feel enormous, I wasn't lazy and I wasn't broken. I just didn't have anything grounding me so I spent a lot of time looking for relief instead of building the capacity to carry what I was feeling and that was the lesson I didn't recognize until the tail end of being 23.
Somewhere along the way I realized I needed to stop asking myself, "How do I make this feeling go away?" and started asking "How do I become someone who can carry this?" and that question changed everything, I feel like the answer wasn't another motivational video or another quote saved in my phone... but under a barbell.
There is something powerful about willingly walking toward something difficult. Your body doesn't know the difference between a heavy squat and other forms of stress at first. Your heart race, your mind starts negotiating, it tells you maybe today's not the day and maybe you should stop. And then you do the rep anyway.
That moment has very little to do with building muscle. It's a conversation between you and yourself. Every time you choose to stay with discomfort instead of running from it you're teaching your nervous system something important: I've been here before and I'll make it through this. I think we've built a world that's incredibly good at helping us avoid discomfort. Think about it. Food arrives at our front door, entertainment never ends, we can distract ourselves within seconds of feeling anything uncomfortable.
Now, I am not saying Comfort is a bad thing, what I saying is that living in comfort all the time is. Because if we never practice carrying weight on purpose, life eventually hands us weight we're completely unprepared to hold and I know what that feels like. I've lived through seasons where the smallest inconvenience felt overwhelming because I hadn't built any resilience, a conversation that didn't go well would ruin my day or a change in plans would throw me off completely. Looking back, I now know that something wasn't wrong with me I just hadn't trained for struggle and strength training slowly changed that. Not because it made my problems disappear, but because every workout became a reminder that discomfort doesn't last forever. That my first thought isn't always the truth and that I can do hard things even when I don't feel ready.
Over time, those lessons started showing up outside the gym. I became calmer under pressure, more patient, less reactive. Not because life got easier... but because I got stronger and I don't just mean physically and I think that's the part of fitness we miss.
People see bigger arms or a heavier deadlift but they don't see the quiet confidence that comes from keeping promises to yourself. They don't see the mornings you showed up when nobody would've blamed you for staying home. They don't see the workouts where you wanted to quit but stayed anyway. That confidence can't be bought. It can't be given. It has to be earned.
Now, let me be clear. Strength training is not a replacement for therapy. It's not a replacement for honest conversations or asking for help. If you're struggling reach out. Talk to someone an lean on people you trust. Remember that there is strength in doing that but don't overlook what your body can teach your mind.
Sometimes healing looks like sitting in a therapist's office, sometimes it looks like taking a walk, sometimes it looks like putting another five pounds on the bar and proving to yourself that you're capable of more than you believed yesterday. Those things don't compete with each other they work together.
That's really the heart of what I believe and the gym isn't just a place to build muscle. It's a place to build character, to practice courage, to develop discipline and to learn that discomfort isn't something to fear. It's something you can grow through.
You don't have to love lifting weights just find your version of the bar. Maybe it's running, maybe it's hiking, maybe it's martial arts, maybe it's simply doing the thing you've been avoiding. Whatever it is, choose something that asks something of you. Choose something difficult on purpose, because every time you do, you're casting a vote for the person you're becoming.
I truly believe that's the missing link we've been searching for all along. Not avoiding life's weight but learning how to carry it.
This Week's MindForge Challenge:
This week's challenge: Choose one hard thing you've been avoiding and put it on your calendar. Show up to it even if you don't feel like it because every time you choose discomfort on purpose, you're building the strength to carry more than just weight.
Your future self is built by the choices you make today.
Step into the Forge. Listen, reflect, and grow.
This week's MindForge Podcast explores what I believe is one of the missing links in the men's mental health conversation: physical resistance. We talk about why choosing hard things on purpose builds more than muscle. It builds resilience, confidence and the capacity to carry life's weight.
If you've ever struggled with anxiety, self doubt or feeling overwhelmed by life's pressures, this episode is an invitation to rethink the role discomfort can play in your growth.
Hit play on the youtube video below to watch the full episode or listen on the go using the Spotify link beneath it.
Ready? Let's step into the forge.
MindForge Podcast Episode 8 Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0Fj7l5OlE2hSCzO2y4ON9R?si=WQvLluq1TEKZtQ8tz9TU4A
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