For you or them?

Reflection: 

Are You Climbing for the Applause or the View?

This one is more of a journal entry than a coach perspective. I want to share a little of my story and connect the dots for you readers to give you a glimpse inside my head and help you understand why my business, my work with clients, and the lessons I share mean so much to me.

I gave over a decade of my life to golf, to the aspiration of becoming a professional. I remember the practices till dark, endless range sessions, and tournament weekends that blurred together. For a long time, it felt like purpose. The structure, the competition, the pursuit of being better each season. But eventually a different question started surfacing as I continued to get older. "Is this who I am, or just what I’m good at?" 

I didn’t realize it at the time, but much of my drive was fueled by external validation. I was performing well, meeting expectations, collecting praise. And when you’re young, that feels like identity. As I got older though, the applause got quieter and so did my sense of alignment. What once felt like passion slowly began to feel like obligation. I started to resent the very thing I once loved so deeply. 

I didn’t vocalize this because speaking up felt like giving up a part of my value, the part that existed only in the expectations others had imagined for me. I didn’t realize this until I started digging deeper into my own internal entanglements. Those realizations were every swing, every score, every “good job” from a coach or parent, it felt like a measure of my worth. The joy of the game started to become overshadowed by the pressure to be seen, to perform, and to prove that I was the best. 

After more than 15 years of playing in competition, I quit.

At first, I felt lost. Golf had structured my life, shaped my identity, and stepping away left a void I could not explain. But slowly I realized that the moments I had loved most weren’t the ones anyone noticed. They were the quiet victories, the progress I made in private, the satisfaction of pushing myself and seeing growth for myself, not for anyone else. That’s when the quote hit me in a new way: life doesn’t need an audience to be meaningful. 

Looking back, I see now that so much of life is like that. We chase recognition and approval, thinking it will define our value but the truth is, those things are fleeting. The deeper moments of satisfaction, the subtle shifts in perspective, the growth that truly shapes us... they happen in silence, without anyone watching. They happen when we face ourselves, our struggles, and our choices without worrying about how anyone else will perceive them.

I feel that there is something profoundly freeing in that realization. I think about the times after school and playing a quick 9 and I would push through frustration on the course by myself. It was mainly when I didn’t hit the shot I wanted but kept going anyway,  not listening to those voices in my head telling me "you're not good enough to do this" or "you're wasting your time" etc. very self doubting thinking patterns. No one was watching. No one was judging. And yet, those moments taught me more about patience, resilience, and self trust than any trophy or crowd ever could. The applause never mattered, what mattered was that I showed up for myself in those moments and taught something internally that shaped my mindset today. 

The same lesson carries over to my personal life and to my business at Warrior X. True growth isn’t about being seen it’s about showing up for yourself, even when no one else notices. It’s about trusting the process, embracing discomfort, and finding value in the climb itself. When we stop measuring ourselves by external standards and start valuing the quiet internal victories, we discover a freedom and fulfillment that no recognition could ever replicate.

This lesson goes far beyond golf. Life has a way of tempting us to perform for others and with all the social media its hard not to seek validation, recognition or approval. But we tend to forget that the most important growth happens quietly. Your effort, your consistency, your discipline, your resilience they’re meaningful because of how they shape you, not because of who notices them. That’s something I carry with me every day in my business and with my clients.  

At Warrior X, this principle is central: building strength and cultivating harmony,  isn’t about impressing anyone. It’s about showing up for yourself, trusting the process, and embracing challenges because they help you grow. The mountains you climb in life; your health, mindset, or personal goals hold value because of what you gain along the way not because anyone else sees you doing it.

Here is what I try to practice and share with my clients: do something meaningful for yourself without sharing it, check in with your “why” regularly, and honor the quiet progress you make. The lessons that stick; the discipline, the courage, the self trust are cultivated in these private moments with yourself. Life, like climbing a mountain is more fulfilling when you climb for the view, not for the applause.

Actionable step: 

Journal Prompt:
"Think about a goal, habit, or challenge you’re working on. Are you pursuing it for yourself, or for someone else?"

3 Steps to Explore It:

1. Notice Your Motivation – Write down why you’re doing this. Be honest: is it for your growth or for external approval?

2. Reflect on the Impact – Consider how it would feel if no one else ever saw your effort. Would it still matter?

3. Decide Your Next Move – Identify one action you can take this week purely for yourself, without worrying about recognition.

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